Wednesday, March 31, 2010
how to bring happines
1) Look forward hopefully.
2) Try to like people. We can easily slide into a habit of liking or disliking people on impulse, or for some superficial reason. ?Something? offends us, or, as we say, we ?don?t take? to them. It is human not to like everybody and there are individuals it is hard to like. Nevertheless. If you want to be happy with people, you have to try see something you can like in those you meet, or at least something to respect and admire.
If they really seem unlikeable, it is helpful to make allowances even if the allowances you make are imaginary. For example, if someone is unfriendly you might think to yourself, well, perhaps his home life is unhappy and he has lost confidence in people. Your ideas about people may be wide off the target but you are encouraging the practice of trying to put yourself in the other fellow?s place, thus you are also encouraging in yourself tolerance and patience. When we like people we project our liking towards them. They sense it and generally respond. Conversely, if you dislike people they sense that too and it builds a barrier between you.
3) Watch these moods. Try to be the same, no matter how you feel inside. Don?t let yourself be on top of the world and hail-fellow-well-met one day, and so grumpy the next that it is too much effort to raise a smile. Recognize when moodiness is affecting you, and if necessary own up to it. Say you have the ?blues?, or feel bad tempered and fed-up and wish you could go off by yourself. Most people will understand. They get the same feelings, and it is better to be honest than hurt people, or make them wonder what they have done to offend you.
4) Give other people a chance. All of us are afflicted with an urge to power which makes us want to be ?superior? to those around us and become the centre of interest. Keep it under control. For example, recognize when you are talking too much, too loudly and too long. Don?t keep trying to hog the centre of the stage, like interrupting a quieter person to divert people?s attention off him to yourself. Show that you are interested in others, not just interested in yourself. Encourage people to think that they matter by listening to what they have to say.
5) Be considerate and thoughtful. It is fatally easy to take people for granted. This applies specially to those close to us. For example, we can forget to notice what they do for us, or not bother to be courteous by saying and doing things we would not dream of saying and doing to outsiders. Lack of appreciation is very hurtful. It is also something we can regret in later years.
Show people, inside and outside your home, that you notice what they do and appreciate it. Be courteous, like not forgetting to say ?please? and ?thank you?. Show your affection. Don?t hide it as though you are ashamed of it or think it should be rationed. Remember birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions, and be as generous as you can afford to be. Like our flowers, love, affection, and friendship have to be nourished by giving as well as taking. Otherwise they wither away. One sure way to be unhappy is to dwell on all the misfortunes and bad things that may possibly happen in the future. Actually, assuming that these will happen can help bring them about. For example, if a person tends to be difficult and we assume that this will always happen, our attitude towards that person can become wary and even hostile. This can generate opposition and help too bring about what we fear. It is better to look forward hopefully than expect the worst.